I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
