I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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