she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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