get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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