Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
