If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
