whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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