How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
