idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
