she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
