I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
