I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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