Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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