Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm at about main and main street
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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