I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
