Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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