He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
