There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
