It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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