I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize