Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize