Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
as a side note pls kill me
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
