flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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