Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just gargled with NyQuil
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
