There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
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You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
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I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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