he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
3 2 1 whiskey
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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