I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
