Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
