we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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