she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
