Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
