wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
