I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
As shirtless as possible
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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