so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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