Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
