I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
BRING THE BAGELS
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
