I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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