she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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