She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
