His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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