dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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