I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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