Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
sex in a hospital.. check
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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