Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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