cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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