im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
