this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
