forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize