you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
