sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Randomize
