dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
