Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
