He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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