This is not my ceiling
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
