True but thats because hes a fetus.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wish you could order shots online.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My vagina is very pro this idea
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
