I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
