she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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