Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
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She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
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Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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