Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
