Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
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