I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We have started to decorate penises.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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