We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
