I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
